I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
