well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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