i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
