i would punch a child for taco bell
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
