So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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