Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
