You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
