Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
