Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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