is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
