you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
