oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
