At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
