Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I wish there were birth control emojis
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
