sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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