Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
