no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize