NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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