Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
