just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
