Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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