Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
