Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize