Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sext me about skeletons
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
