I CAN MOONWALK!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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