just tell him i said nine months
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
