I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
