Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
