you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
tell me about the eggs
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
