shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
