I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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