I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
