Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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