thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
