You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
