since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize