You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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