Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
