Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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