i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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