waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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