Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
