A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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