no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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