He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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