so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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