As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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