My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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