you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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