First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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