I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Can you bring me the toilet please
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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