I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
