No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
