I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You're so nebulous sometimes
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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