So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
