1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I can tuck mytits in my pants
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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