Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
