My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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