so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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