:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
