i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
