he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
