My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
