and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
