he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
