just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The Olympian is in my bed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
