marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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