Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
