You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
