It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize